Jul 17 1998
11:19AM EDT
Subject: Microsoft vs GM
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept
up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be
driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating(by Mr Welch himself):
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to
buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and
you would just accept this, restart and drive on. 4. Occasionally,
executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut
down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall
the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
"Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to
buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on
five per cent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off. 10.
Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously
lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio
antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither
need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more.
Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice
Department. 12. Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would
have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls
would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
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